I Remember When.....

[Devilness Chant]

I Remember When I was a scared little girl, because my father was a drunk with a bad temper and my mother didn't want to deal with him so she would point his anger towards me.

I Remember When the kids in school would pick on me and beat on me because my drunk mother would use the same patterns to sew my clothes and I was quiet.

I Remember When I became an atheist because of all the times I prayed to god to make it all stop and it never did.

I Remember When two older girls were harassing a friend of mine in middle school and I told my friend we should leave. One of them grabbed my hair and something inside me snapped. I pounded the crap out of her. No one bothered me in school anymore and I took up fighting for the underdog even though I was still getting beat at home.

I Remember When I jumped from one verbally, mentally, and physically abuse relationship, marrage. One after the other. Because I desperately wanted to be loved and wanted it to be by a man that thought I was worth changing for. (duh)

I Remember When I stood up to the last man that beat on me. I looked him in the eye and said something that made the color drain from his face. I saw the fear there that had been in my eyes for years. I walked out that door and never dated again.

I Remember When I decided to stay single till I die and learned to love myself.

I Remember When a friend gave me a box and my best friend and I laughed and joked watching it bounce around. The friend that gave me the box talked me into joining KC.

I Remember When I came out of my shell and started typing in KC chat. I thought what a wonderful community of caring people all with the same goal of breeding kitties and having fun. I made some of the best most caring friends I've ever known in this community.

I Remember When I was at an auction and this woman came in and all these people were insulting her in open chat. I was shocked to see the community that I thought was so loving and caring tear into this woman.

I Remember When I wanted to know what she could have done to bring about such a reaction. I wanted to know how these people could turn like that. People said that she was buying up all these new traits and flooding the market with them. Others said that they didn't like her because they imed her and asked her to sell them a kitty cheaper than what she had it priced and she refused. So yes I went to her shop to see what was going on. Her prices were no more or less than the going rates in market. And she wasn't cheapening the going rates by selling for less even when asked to. At one time I had a new fur and she wanted to buy some from me. I found her not to be very talkative but I assumed maybe she wasn't comfortable with english. She was in no way rude. But omg people were openly rude to her.

I Remember When I got the lucky lottery kitty, not once but twice. I won't go into everything like the ims for free kitties and so forth. I will say that my shop sales dropped to nothing afterwards. And the only two wonderful things that came out of the whole nightmare, was that I found out who my truest friends are and I wuv them for all the support and kindness they have shown me. And I made money that bought groceries at a time when I was laid off and broke. And yes people didn't like the fact that I took money out of game and didn't buy up expensive kitties. I guess I almost destroyed the market then.

I Remember When I left KC and had a going out of business sale. I had to practically give all my collectibles and kitties away to sell them. To this day I see an old collectible sitting on a shelf with a really high price on it and wonder to myself if it was one that was bought at my fire sale for practically nothing. The community that I loved had changed, like all things do. Or I just opened my eyes. I honestly don't know.

I Remember When I decided to come back with a whole new outlook and enjoy breeding my kitties with no pressure to be the best and to not expect any sales to help keep my hobby going.

I Remember When I came back and chatted with old friends and picked up right where we left off. They didn't judge me for leaving or pity me for it. And I had to turn down a lot of kitties. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I Remember When I made the mistake of thinking forums would be a fun place to go again.

I Remember When I decided to open my soul up here. I wanted to show that yes I know what bullying and abuse are. (just like too many others) What I see when I read negative comments about someone by a group of people that are trying to rally the masses against someone, reminds me of the school yards of bullies.

As I said in another post. I can't make people change or be the way I think they should be. But my one wish is that one person reads this and learns from it. That they take a good hard look at themselves and the reasons behind what they're doing. Maybe find a better way to deal with a situation other than attacking them and expecting everyone else to fall in line with them.

Maybe the kid getting beat on is the spawn of satan. But to an outsider all I see is a group of bullies beating on one kid.

I want that wonderful community back. I want to feel safe chatting with people and making new wonderful friends. I don't want to be afraid of a lynch mob turning on me because I underpriced a kitty or did something they didn't like. And end up being blamed for the destruction of the market and all kitty kind.

I can assure you I don't need or want pity. What didn't kill me made me a heck of a lot stronger and I ended up with one heck of a sense of humor. Laughter is the best medicine.