RE: Fair Trade
**I think I missed some of the posts before the Protocol thread was deleted**
It would be nice if we could all be a little nicer all the time in every situation. It can't hurt anything. There really is no reason to make things personal or be hurtful to get your opinion across. But we are all human, and we make mistakes. I know personally I've been told that I can come across as a know it all and I can be very blunt when tact is really required. I worked to improve my listening skills, I let myself actually care, and that was not always easy. This was mostly though RL work, I spent about 20 years doing telephone support and customer service..and ya I'm still (relatively) sane.
Listening really is the key to communication. If someone feels you are able to understand what they are saying they are so much more willing to hear what you have to say. But once someone starts bristling, it's a real effort to diffuse the situation. The problem with moderating something like a forum is the damage is likely already done by the time a mod sees a post that crosses the line.
I understand what Kay says about rehashing being useless. I'd hoped to shift the focus off what we may find negative, to what we can do that is positive. Action is empowering. If you are reading this thread and have an idea that you think will be good for the community as a whole, please feel free to share.
I still believe though, that being able to honestly vent is important as well. Have you ever been somewhere where the people are like all pissed off at each other or upset or hurt or whatever but no one will say anything about it? You can cut the tension with a knife. But no one wants to light the powder keg, no one wants to be the one that starts it, but it doesn't have to be WWIII. There can be honest discussion without fighting or being mean or name calling and hurt feelings. I've seen it done, I've done it myself and I know we as a group of creative, intelligent people are capable of it.
So I dunno why discussions tend to degrade or people end up with hurt feelings when there is no need for that. It is harder to convey emotion in writing than it is when just talking. Here we have no facial expressions, no tone or inflection of a voice to help up understand what is really meant. So when writing, it helps to read back what you have written aloud before you post. It can also help to give examples of what you are trying to say, like the one I gave about a group of pissed off people where no one wanted to start the fight.
I also agree that these discussions, for better or worse can benefit those that come after us. This forum serves as a living history of our experiences. And in that, we should ALL have a voice.
Hugs,
Noc
Nacht's Landing
ScratchN Shop
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